Monday, July 16, 2012

Free Dogfish Head Beer! Hire ME!!!!

So like last Wednesday Dogfish Head Brewery, my favorite for many reasons, put a video on YouTube and their site asking for people to come work for them:

So I have been out and about on the town here in Philly on all the main highways and byways with my resume hoping to drum up support and to hopefully run into Sam or one of the crew at DFH brewery and maybe score a little free DFH along the way.

Thursday was my first day out.  I was a newbie and had to put on a hard face because the creepy dude behind the tree (if you right click on the pic and hit view picture, it will zoom in and you can see the devious look in his eye and his sinister smile)  was eyeing my cool sign, or so I thought!  Dude was after my empty DFH six pack holder that I had hoped to score some 60 minute IPA with!

I was distraught!  Disillusioned! More cars drove by without any of the DFH crew around.  I mean I was just off of I-95, someone had to drive by that worked there!

 My six pack holder gone, it was 93 degrees out and no one offered me a cold DFH.  Someone offered me a PBR and I said that I would rather have a warm, half full, day old Indian Brown Ale with a cigarette butt floating in it than drink that filth.  They understood and proceeded to tell me that the PBR was only to use as their emergency fire extinguisher for their K car and gave me a fin to hold me over.
 Having regained my faith in humanity after being accosted by a would be DFH bandit with the kindness of the K Car crew I picked up my sign, stood tall and began to tell my story to anyone who would listen.  Well, actually, my mom drove by and took this picture and asked me if I wanted to go to dinner at the Grey Lodge where she saw a bottle of Namaste, my favorite DFH beer!  My mom loves me!  Thanks MOM!
 While at the Grey Lodge My Mom and publican Scoats helped me with my resume.  Scoats told me that a resume needed to grow and evolve and be indicative of the job seekers adaptability and also the fact that the video DFH was putting out exclaimed FREE beer and that I should add that to both sides of my resume.  My mom agreed.  I got heckled a few times for being a hippy.  I asked if the I<3 recycling was a bit much and my mom said " gives Dogfish Head insight into your keen awareness of environmental stewardship and cost saving frugality.  Leave it"

Day two, Friday.  Another high traffic area just off of I-95.  Not much luck. 

 Just more hecking.  "you want DFH beer and you don't even have a DFH six pack holder!"  "Dominion Baltic Porter!  You're DAFT!" 
 ....But someone stole it!
 "Porter this!"
Can you believe that?  Heckled and then a cop reads my sign and kicks me off the corner!  He did so nicely though and told me that I had to fold the sign so that the police can't read it.  Old panhandler trick.
 The guys at the Beer Outlet were cool enough to let me stand there for the rest of the afternoon.  They said that freaks usually bring in more customers and gave me an empty 16oz. Straub bottle for my efforts!  Score!  Homebrewers dream!  Pounder bottles!  Here is a closer look at my new resume!
 I must have had a good day because it was the first time EVER that I was able to open a macaroni box according to the instructions on the top of the side of the box!  I'm on a roll!
 Saturday on exhibit at the Art Museum.
Like any good street corner vendor/panhandler my finger is deep within the caverns of my nasal passages.

 I've only seen the pretzel guy on my previous street corner do this.
He's my hero!
They say one should never meet their hero as they will be disappointed.
 "Lower your arms!" they all said as they ran away from me.
...Rocky drinks Dogfish Head!!!

 Dogfish Head, Hire Me!
 I make my Mom proud!
There's more to come so...
...stay tuned on this same beer channel, same beer time!

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