A man is tormented.
The ultimate question is: does he turn in his lonely freedom for domestication?
I've struggled with this my whole life.
This Einstein quote grabs me:
I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.
And then, there are these quotes;
No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
I then refer back to the first quote and ask myself at what age comes maturity?
I put in my time playing the role. Much shorter than most. Short enough to avoid that routine that people fall into and then fall apart. But long enough to somewhere in the recesses of my brain to realize that this was not the optimal situation. I liked where I was in that role. I truly did. I liked who I spent all of my time with. I truly did. At the time I was convinced that she was truly the one to grow old with. Somewhere in those recesses of my brain, the answer was known just not spoken. Could I have made her to be that one that is the true balance of freedom and domestication? Because such a relationship exists.......I think. I'm pretty sure that I have witnessed it in some of my dearest friends. Or I think I have. I probably could have made her that. And she could have made that same choice. It would not be that true balance.
So what is a person to do? Wait for that balance? Be a giggalo (seems to be the best option sometimes) in the meantime? Be lonely in the meantime? OR hop into something monogamous but not with that true balance?
Best yet, why worry about it?